In Episode 387 Jeff Belanger and Ray Auger head to New Hampshire to break some of their strangest laws. From sugar containers, to trash pickup, to harvesting seaweed, we go on the lam in the Granite State to see what we can get away with.
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CREDITS:
Produced and hosted by: Jeff Belanger and Ray Auger
Edited by: Ray Auger
Theme Music by: John Judd
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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:
*A note on the text: Please forgive punctuation, spelling, and grammar mistakes. Like us, the transcripts ain’t perfect.
[DINER SOUNDS]
JEFF: Would you pass the salt, Ray.
RAY: Here you go.
JEFF: Thanks. Man, I love breakfast at a diner. Is there anything better?
RAY: Not much. And this Portsmouth, New Hampshire, Diner has got everything you could want. Eggs, pancakes, corned beef hash, bacon. So much great stuff!
JEFF: I think my favorite part about diner breakfast is that you don’t have to make it or clean it up. I mean how many times at home to do you make a huge production out of breakfast.
RAY: Yeah, almost never. Maybe a few times a year. A couple of holidays I guess. (BEAT) Would you pass the sugar?
JEFF: Yeah… hold on.
RAY: What… what are you doing with that ruler?
JEFF: I’m measuring the opening of this sugar pouring container.
RAY: Why?
JEFF: Because it needs to be less than 3/8th of an inch or it’s against the law.
RAY: You’re kidding.
JEFF: I’m not. We’ve come to New Hampshire to explore some really weird laws… and then… break them.
[INTRO]
JEFF: I’m Jeff Belanger and welcome to Episode 387 of the New England Legends podcast.
RAY: And I’m Ray Auger. Thanks for joining us on our mission to explore all the wicked strange parts of New England one story at a time. From weird laws to haunts, to UFOs, monsters, roadside oddities, and more. If it’s strange, we want to know about it. And most of our story leads come from you, so please reach out to us anytime with your story leads.
JEFF: We’ll go breaking some strange laws from the Granite State right after this word from our sponsor.
SPONSOR
[DINER NOISES]
RAY: Okay, so I’m about to add some sugar into my coffee.
JEFF: Right.
RAY: The sugar in the pouring jar on the table like you’ve seen in countless diners over the years.
JEFF: Yup. They mostly look the same.
RAY: And you’re telling me the size of the pouring hole in that jar has to meet a standard, or it’s against the law?
JEFF: We would of course be referring to Title 143 of New Hampshire State law referring to Sanitary Production and Distribution of Food. Specifically, 143, section 6-A regarding sugar packets and containers that states, and I quote: No establishment which serves food or drink to the public with or without charge shall provide sugar except in individually wrapped packets or in covered containers from which sugar is poured through a hole not more than 3/8 of an inch in diameter. The law was established September 23, 1971.
RAY: Right. Who could forget THAT day.
JEFF: The argument seems to be that they don’t want open sugar bowls, because that wouldn’t be as sanitary.
[UNSCREWING LID FROM JAR]
RAY: Soooo… me unscrewing this lid….
JEFF: Ray… what are you doing…
RAY: And spooning in the sugar out of the open jar…
JEFF: Ray!
RAY: You’re saying I just broke the law?
JEFF: Sort of. I imagine it’s more on the restaurant to not let you do that. I’m surprised no one tackled you or tried to make a citizen’s arrest.
RAY: Okay, the open sugar bowl thing makes sense for sanitary reasons. But still… it seems like a silly law.
JEFF: And it is. And we have many of them. (BEAT) Back on February 10, 2025, President Trump signed an executive order regarding the use of paper straws over plastic ones. The order said states and counties were no longer allowed to mandate restaurants to use paper straws.
RAY: I remember hearing about that. I didn’t think this was one of our country’s biggest problems right now, but what can you do?
JEFF: I didn’t think so either. And to be fair, the order doesn’t say you can’t use paper straws, it just says states and counties can’t force restaurants to do it. But back to New Hampshire. Let’s head outside.
[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]
JEFF: And take a drive north to the White Mountains National Forest.
[CAR DOORS CLOSE, ENGINE REVS, SCREECHES DRIVING AWAY]
[THEN STOPS AND WE GET OUT]
JEFF: Man, you had the pedal to the metal. Northbound and down.
RAY: I knew we had to get to the White Mountains quick. Plus, if we’re already breaking laws, why stop now.
JEFF: Good point. Okay, let’s head into the forest trails so we can break another law.
[HIKING IN WOODS]
[SHAKES OUT TRASH BAG]
RAY: Why did you bring a trash bag?
JEFF: We’re in the White Mountains National Parks. I thought maybe we can clean up any trash we see.
RAY: That seems like a nice thing to do.
JEFF: Of course! There’s a saying in hiking that you should leave only footprints, take only pictures. But not everyone gets the memo.
RAY: There’s a crushed beer can here.
[TOSSED INTO BAG]
JEFF: Looks like an old sandwich bag here. We can throw that in too. It always bums me out when people get themselves out into nature and then litter. I don’t get it at all. If nature calls to you, do better, you know?
RAY: I couldn’t agree more. But I’m glad we’re picking up either way. (BEAT) Oh, there’s a park ranger up ahead. I bet he’ll be thrilled to see us doing a little cleanup! (AWAY FROM MIC) Hey there Mr. Ranger!
JEFF: Ray, No! What are you doing?
RAY: What?! I’m waving to the park ranger.
JEFF: Ray, we gotta get outta here. RUN!
[RUNNING IN WOODS]
RAY: Why are we running?
JEFF: Because if that park ranger catches us, he’ll write us a ticket!
RAY: For what?!
[RUNNING STOPS]
JEFF: Okay… I think we lost him. So, in New Hampshire it’s illegal to clean up litter in the White Mountains National Forest without a permit.
RAY: Shut the front the door. You’re kidding.
JEFF: The full law says you can’t rake the beaches, pick up littler, haul trash away, or build a park bench without a permit, otherwise it’s a $150 dollar fine.
RAY: And I was just about to say: We should build a park bench right here!
JEFF: Crazy, right?
RAY: Completely crazy.
JEFF: It turns out the main reason behind the seemingly weird law is that there are historic artifacts out here in the woods. Old iron horseshoes and other items of historical significance, and they don’t want those items removed.
RAY: And in our all or nothing litigious society, we need the rule to apply to all trash or none.
JEFF: Exactly. So the crushed beer can is placed on the same level as iron artifacts from centuries ago.
RAY: Annd that’s what happens when you play lawyer ball, I guess.
JEFF: You’re right. Hey! Since we’re here in the mountains, maybe we could do a little hunting?
RAY: Sure! Let’s see what kind of game we can find.
[WALKING IN WOODS]
JEFF: I guess we can start by looking for tracks.
RAY: These may be deer tracks over here.
JEFF: Yeah… maybe. Let’s follow them for a bit.
[UNZIPPING BACKPACK]
[CHITTERING FERRET SOUNDS]
RAY: Uhhhhm… what in the world did you just pull out of your backpack?
JEFF: This?!
RAY: Yeah that…. Is that… is that a ferret?
JEFF: Yeah, this is Mr. Flufkins.
RAY: Mr. Flufkins?!
JEFF: I brought him to help us hunt.
RAY: Are you crazy?
JEFF: Why? Ferrets are good hunters, Ray!
RAY: Because it’s against New Hampshire law to bring your ferret hunting!
JEFF: It is?!
RAY I thought everyone knew that! I’m of course referring to New Hampshire state law, Title 18, Chapter 207, section 6 that states—and I quote—No person, while hunting or obviously on his way to or from hunting, shall have a ferret in his possession, custody, or control. The law went into effect in 1935.
JEFF: So me even having Mr. Flufkins out here in the woods with us is breaking the law.
RAY: It is. Originally ferrets were used to hunt rabbits. Very few people did this, but the concern was that if some ferrets got into the wild and started reproducing, it could mess up the balance of the ecosystem.
JEFF: Then I guess we better get out of here.
[WALKING THROUGH WOODS]
[GETTING INTO CAR / CAR DRIVES OFF]
JEFF: Since we’re already on the lam, lets head southbound and down for one more stop back in Portsmouth.
[CAR DRIVING]
[CAR STOPS AND DOORS CLOSE]
JEFF: Our last stop will be here at the beach.
RAY: I’m glad this is our last stop. The daylight is fading fast.
[OCEAN SOUNDS FADE IN]
RAY: Spring is almost here, though we’re a little early for a trip to the beach, it’s still not a bad day here as dusk settles. (BEAT) Hey, I see there’s a cop over there watching the beach. (AWAY FROM MIC) Hello, officer!
JEFF: What time is it, Ray?
RAY: Hmmm about quarter of 7:00 in the evening.
JEFF: I need to know the exact time, Ray.
RAY: Okayyy… checking my phone. 6:44.
JEFF: Okay, let’s head down the surf.
[OCEAN WAVES GET LOUDER]
RAY: Ewww… what are you doing? Is that seaweed?
JEFF: It is! I’m pulling some out of the surf to take home.
RAY: Why would you do that?
JEFF: I guess because I can.
RAY: Seaweed is gross. It’s all slimy. Yuck. (BEAT) And that police officer seems to be taking an interest in what we’re doing. The cop keeps checking his watch.
JEFF: Okay, Ray. I’m going to set this seaweed here. (BEAT) Okay… so what time is it now?
RAY: Are you kidding?
JEFF: No.
RAY: Okay, my phone says it’s 6:49 PM.
JEFF: Perfect! So today in Portsmouth, sunset was 6:47PM. So now it’s technically after sundown.
RAY: Okayyy.. What’s your point?
JEFF: So Title 207 of New Hampshire state law, the general provision as to fish and game, section 48 states, says, and I quote, “If any person shall carry away or collect for the purpose of carrying away any seaweed or rockweed from the seashore below high-water mark, between daylight in the evening and daylight in the morning, he shall be guilty of a violation. The law dates back to 1973.
RAY: So if you pull seaweed out right now, it’s against the law?
JEFF: Right.
RAY: But when you did it five minutes ago, it wasn’t against the law.
JEFF: Nope. Get ready, I’m going back in for more.
[OCEAN WAVES GET LOUDER]
JEFF: Okay… I got some more seaweed and I’m comin’ out!
RAY: That cop is coming this way!
[POLICE SIRENS COMING UP]
JEFF: RUN!
[RUNNING AWAY / EVERYTHING FADES]
[OUTTRO]
RAY: And that takes us to After the Legend where your fugitive buddies take a deeper dive into this week’s story and sometimes veer off course.
JEFF: After the Legend is brought to you by our patreon patrons! Our patrons make this all happen. They’re the backbone of everything we do. They help us financially with our hosting costs, production, marketing, they even pay our bail money. It’s just $3 bucks per month and for that they get early ad-free access to new episodes plus bonus episodes and content that no one else gets to hear. And they get access to our entire archive of shows. To help the cause please head over to patreon.com/newenglandlegends and sign up.
To see some pictures from this week’s story, you can click on the link in our episode description, or go to our web site and click on episode 387.
Got a weird story you think we should check out? Please reach out to us anytime through our website. Don’t assume we’ve already heard it. Plus, if you post a review and share our episodes with your friends on your social media, that’s how we continue to grow and find even more wicked strangeness to share with you. You can also join us in our New England Legends Facebook group where over 10,000 members are sharing their stories.
We’d like to thank our sponsors, thank you to our patreon patrons, and our theme music is by John Judd.
Until next time remember… the bizarre is closer than you think.
