Podcast 219 – Halloween 2021: The Vampire’s Desire

For Halloween, we explore the vampire’s desire in a decrepit house somewhere in Rhode Island.


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In Episode 219, Jeff Belanger and Ray Auger receive a strange Halloween message with an address in Rhode Island and the promise of seeing a monster. Jeff and Ray follow the clues and wind up trapped in a house with a murdered body and a vampire! Will they make it out alive?!

Read the episode transcript.

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CREDITS:
Produced and hosted by: Jeff Belanger and Ray Auger
Edited by: Ray Auger
Additional Voice Talent: Michael Legge, Jade Ansell, and Tim Ellis
Theme Music by: John Judd

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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:
*A note on the text: Please forgive punctuation, spelling, and grammar mistakes. Like us, the transcripts ain’t perfect.

SOUND: (WIND BLOWS RAIN … DOGS HOWL)
JEFF: Ray… I thought we’d spend Halloween chasing a strange story.
RAY: So not too different than any other Halloween.
JEFF: Good point.
RAY: What brings us to this remote part of Rhode Island? And did we have to come here so late at night, and in a storm?
JEFF: I wish I could tell you exactly why we’re here, Ray. But I’m not totally sure. I found this hand-written note in my mailbox with THIS Rhode Island address, telling us to be here at this date and time if we want to see… a monster.
[INTRO]
[RADIO TUNING IN TO LINE BELOW]
HERMIT: (CACKLING LAUGHTER) Ghoooossst stories. Weirrrrrd stories. And murders too! (CACKLES) The Hermit knows of them all. It’s Halloween! So turn out your lights. Turn them out! Ahhhh. Have you heard the story … “The Vampire’s Desire” — hm? And Who… or what sent Jeff and Ray to this strange address? The Hermit will tell you before the night is done.
[RADIO TUNING IN TO LINE BELOW]
And now a word from our sponsor, Nuwati Herbals…
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ROD: Yeah, I’m creating a new tea to repel vampires.
KIMBERLY: Sounds like a great idea. This is a very big vampire month. What’s in it?
ROD: Garlic. Lots of garlic. Last year our Black and Blue Balm with Wormwood was such a huge hit warding off werewolves that absolutely no werewolves were reported in the whole month of October. Since then, we’ve been getting lots of requests to help our listeners keep vampires away.
KIMBERLY: I can’t wait to try it. What are we going to call it?
ROD: Vampire-Be-Gone Tea!
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[RADIO TUNING IN TO LINE BELOW]
HERMIT: (CACKLING LAUGHTER) Jeff and Ray are caught in a horrible Halloween storm in Rhode Island. A stranger has sent them the address with promises of meeting a monster. Listen (CACKLES)
SOUND: (WIND AND HOWLING DOGS FADE … FOLLOWED BY A SUDDEN HUGE CLAP OF THUNDER … RAIN AND OTHER STORM NOISES IN BG)
RAY: Forbidding-looking place, Jeff.
JEFF: It is at that. We can’t go any farther in this downpour.
RAY: We’ll most likely have to stay in this doorway then. The house looks abandoned.
JEFF: It does. However, there may be someone inside.
SOUND: (KNOCKS AT DOOR … LONG PAUSE FOR MORE THUNDER AND RAIN)
RAY: There’s no one living in this tomb of a place, Jeff.
JEFF: I think you’re right, Ray. Wonder where we are.
RAY: I haven’t had the slightest idea where we are since the beginning of the storm when GPS couldn’t find the road we’re on. We’re lost for sure.
JEFF: Mm. I think you’re right about the place being abandoned. Try the door. Maybe we can break in. Anything to get out of this storm. Try the door.
RAY: Okay… will do. Oh! It’s opening!
JEFF: Well, good.
OLD WOMAN: Well?!
JEFF: Good evening. We’ve lost our way. Been caught in this storm. We’re drenched to the skin.
OLD WOMAN: You two are fools for being out on a night like this!
RAY: (ASIDE, IRONIC) An agreeable sort.
JEFF: May we come in and get dried out?
OLD WOMAN: You’re not welcome!
JEFF: Well, surely you’re not going to turn us away on a night like this!
OLD WOMAN: I don’t care what kind of a night it is! You’re not welcome!
JEFF: Well, all right, may we come in whether we’re welcome or not?
OLD WOMAN: No! Good night!
RAY: She’s slamming the door in your face—
SOUND: (DOOR CLOSES BUT DOES NOT SHUT ENTIRELY)
RAY: Uhh!
JEFF: (AFTER A PAUSE, IRONIC) Kindly soul!
RAY: When the old woman tried to slam the door, I stuck my foot in the way and she hasn’t tried to close it any more.
JEFF: Well, good. Let’s take a chance on going in then, whether we’re welcome or not.
RAY: Right.
SOUND: (A LONG CLAP OF THUNDER … AS THE DOOR SHUTS, THE THUNDER AND OTHER STORM NOISES DIMINISH CONSIDERABLY)
RAY: Now which way, Jeff?
JEFF: Eh, who can tell in this pitch darkness?
OLD WOMAN: (EERIE, MAD CACKLING LAUGHTER BEGINS AND CONTINUES IN BG)
JEFF: Listen.
RAY: The old woman.
JEFF: Yes.
RAY: Jeff…
OLD WOMAN: (LAUGHTER STOPS ABRUPTLY)
RAY: … we’re in the house of a madwoman.
JEFF: It isn’t a very pleasant sound, is it?
RAY: Mmph, doesn’t seem to be a light in the whole place. What should we do?
JEFF: We’ll go to the right, feel along the wall for a light switch or a door.
RAY: All right.
JEFF: Come along, then. Follow me.
SOUND: (FOOTSTEPS AND TAPPING)
JEFF: Ah. Here’s a door.
SOUND: (DOOR OPENS)
JEFF: Come on, Ray. Stay close by me.
RAY: You don’t have to tell me twice.
SOUND: (A FEW MORE FOOTSTEPS AS THE OLD WOMAN’S LAUGHTER RETURNS BRIEFLY)
RAY: Oh, good Lord. Is she going to keep that up all night?
JEFF: Well, if she is, I wish she’d tell us what the joke is so we can laugh with her. Find the light switch?
RAY: Er, no. There doesn’t seem to be one.
JEFF: All right, then. We’ll continue in the dark. You go to the left, I’ll go to the right. Maybe we can find something to sit on.
RAY: Will do.
SOUND: (MORE FOOTSTEPS AND TAPPING)
RAY: (AFTER A PAUSE) Ah!
JEFF: (OFF) Hm?
RAY: What’s this? I found something.
JEFF: (OFF) Well, what is it?
RAY: Well, it might be a bookcase built into the wall.
JEFF: (OFF) All right, there may be at least something in it that we can sit on — even books’ll be better than the cold floor.
RAY: Yeah … although I can’t feel anything yet.
JEFF: (OFF) Keep talking, Ray, so I can find my way over to you.
SOUND: (FOOTSTEPS)
RAY: Why don’t you hit the flashlight on your phone, Jeff?
JEFF: (COMING CLOSER) Good idea…. (PAUSE) Huh… my phone is completely dead. It was nearly full when we got here. Try yours.
RAY: (PAUSE) Hmmmm. Mine is also dead. What happened?
JEFF: I don’t know. Where are you?
RAY: Right here. You’re almost up to me.
JEFF: Ah.
SOUND: (FOOTSTEPS OUT)
JEFF: Now where’s the bookcase?
RAY: Right here. Let me have your hand.
JEFF: Here.
SOUND: (HANDS ON THE WOODEN BOOKCASE)
JEFF: Ah, yes. Now, let’s feel all through it. There may be something of use in it, you never can tell.
SOUND: (SLIGHT NOISE, OFF)
JEFF: What was that? Quiet now. Let’s listen. (PAUSE) Huh, we must have been imagining things.
RAY: I’ve been imagining things ever since we first heard that old woman laugh like that. It makes my hair stand on end.
SOUND: (SLIGHT NOISE, OFF)
RAY: (WHISPERS) There it is again. A rustling near the door.
JEFF: (CALLS OUT) Who IS that?! Who’s there?!
OLD MAN: (OMINOUS LOW VOICE, FROM A DISTANCE) Stay away from that bookcase. Stay away.
JEFF: Well, who is it? Who are you?
OLD MAN: Stay away from that bookcase.
JEFF: We wouldn’t be near the damned bookcase if you’d be good enough to show us to a room with some furniture in it so that we can get dry.
OLD MAN: (FADING AWAY) Stay away from the bookcase.
RAY: He’s leaving.
JEFF: Well, this is a fine how-do-you do, isn’t it?
RAY: Oh, I’ve had about enough. I think we should get on our way.
JEFF: Oh, nonsense. However, we’ll leave the bookcase alone if that’s what we’re asked to do.
OLD MAN: (CHUCKLES OMINOUSLY, FROM OFF)
RAY: He’s still here.
JEFF: Yes, I heard him. (CALLS OUT) Say, are you playing some game with us?! If so, we’re not in the mood for it!
RAY: (AFTER A PAUSE) No answer.
JEFF: No.
OLD WOMAN: (MAD CACKLING LAUGH, FROM OFF)
RAY: Oh, there SHE is again.
JEFF: Yes. That’s enough, that’s enough.
RAY: What are you going to do?
JEFF: If this is some game they’re playing with us, I’m going to find about it and put a stop to it. There’s a man and woman living in this house, there must be some furniture in at least one of the rooms.
RAY: And some heat. I’m chilled to the bone.
JEFF: Yes, some heat. If there isn’t, then there’s something going on here that we should investigate and put a stop to. Come on, Ray.
SOUND: (FOOTSTEPS IN BG)
RAY: All right. Where to first?
JEFF: We’ll start right where we are. Search the whole house. From this floor up to the roof, if necessary … (FADES OUT)
(SOUND: HOWLING WIND OF STORM … FOR A TRANSITION … THEN OUT … THEN FOOTSTEPS)
RAY: Look, Jeff, look.
JEFF: Where?
SOUND: (FOOTSTEPS STOP)
RAY: Down to the end of this hall. There’s the old man who was talking to us in the room downstairs, telling us to keep away from the bookcase.
JEFF: I think you’re right. He’s carrying a lantern.
RAY: Yeah.
JEFF: Ray. We’ll follow him.
RAY: Yes.
SOUND: (FOOTSTEPS RESUME)
JEFF: He’ll lead us somewhere. We can’t wander in this house all night in the dark.
RAY: At any rate, he has a light.
JEFF: I don’t think he’s noticed us.
RAY: We’ll have to get close to him before he turns that corner down at the end of the hall.
JEFF: Yes.
RAY: (AFTER A PAUSE) He’s almost at the corner. … There. He turned.
JEFF: Hurry. He might duck into some room close by and we’ll lose him.
SOUND: (HURRIED FOOTSTEPS … THEN OUT)
JEFF: Easy now — while I peek around the corner.
RAY: You see him?
JEFF: Yes, going into the first room on the left.
RAY: (COUGHS)
JEFF: Quiet.
RAY: The air is stale and musty here.
JEFF: Yes, never mind about that now.
RAY: (HOARSELY) Makes me gasp for breath. (COUGHS)
JEFF: Here’s the room he went into. Stay quiet while I have a look.
RAY: (BREATHES HEAVILY) Is he in there?
JEFF: Strange. I’m sure he went in there.
RAY: He might be hiding behind the door waiting to pounce on us. (COUGHS)
JEFF: (AMUSED) An old man like that couldn’t do much pouncing.
RAY: He might be armed. (COUGHS)
JEFF: We’ll take that chance. The – (COUGHS) – air IS stale and musty here, isn’t it?
RAY: I can hardly – get my breath.
JEFF: Yes. The foul-scented air is coming from that room the old man went into. Well, if he can stand it, we can. (COUGHS)
RAY: All right. But be careful.
SOUND: (FOOTSTEPS INTO THE ROOM … MUCH GASPING, COUGHING AND HEAVY BREATHING THROUGHOUT … WHICH WORSENS AS THE SCENE UNFOLDS)
JEFF: He’s not in here. If he is, he’s turned out the lantern. (CALLS OUT, HOARSELY) Hello?! Hello?!
RAY: There’s no one in here.
SOUND: (DOOR CREAKS)
JEFF: Eh?
SOUND: (DOOR SHUTS NOISILY)
JEFF: The door, Ray. The door just slammed shut.
RAY: It did!
SOUND: (HURRIED FOOTSTEPS TO DOOR … A THUMP)
RAY: (GRUNTS IN PAIN) There’s no door here! I ran right into a blank wall.
JEFF: This is where the door was?
RAY: Right here, yes.
JEFF: Ray, we’re trapped.
RAY: Uhh.
JEFF: There’s some witchcraft underfoot in this house. And we’re right in the middle of it.
RAY: And in a room with no way out. (COUGHS) And no air. No air!
JEFF: Try to stay calm. We’re in it and we’ll have to see what we can do to get out.
RAY: But what could they want of us?
JEFF: How should I know?
RAY: What’ll we do? Just sit and wait?
JEFF: No, we’ll start looking for a way out of this room right now. If we only had a light. (COUGHS) Maybe we can find some other way out of this room.
RAY: We can try.
JEFF: You go to your right, I’ll go to the left. We’ll follow the wall around till we meet.
RAY: All right.
JEFF: (MOVING OFF) Tap the wall as you go along. Listen for hollow spots.
SOUND: (FOOTSTEPS … TAPPING … A THUMP)
RAY: (IN PAIN) Ooh!
JEFF: (OFF) Now what?
RAY: I stumbled over something on the floor.
JEFF: (OFF) Well, what is it?
RAY: I don’t know. I’ll have to feel. (STARTLED) Oh!
JEFF: (OFF) What is it, Ray?
RAY: A body!
JEFF: (OFF) Are you sure?
RAY: Yes. It’s the body of a man.
JEFF: (COMES CLOSER) Where is it?
RAY: Oh, don’t touch it, sir. Don’t touch it.
JEFF: Why not?
RAY: I did. And a part of it crumbled to bits.
JEFF: Oh my God.
RAY: Yes. It crumbled under my touch.
JEFF: Where – where is it?
RAY: Right at my feet. I’m afraid to move another step.
JEFF: (BENDS OVER) We’ll see what this is.
RAY: Yes.
JEFF: (GASPS) You’re right. I just touched it and part of the clothing crumbled away.
RAY: Yes.
JEFF: And, Ray, I – I felt bones!
RAY: Oh! That’s what’s going to happen to us — if we don’t get out of this place.
JEFF: This guy must’ve been dead for years. The clothing just crumbled away in my fingers.
RAY: Yes.
JEFF: Ray, we have to get out of this place as quickly as possible. We’re in danger, I’m sure of it. We’ve got to find a way out of this room before we suffocate.
RAY: Why don’t we try to find the place where the door was?
JEFF: Yes. Back to the door, Ray. We don’t have time to search for any other exit. We’ll have to find out how to open the door we came in.
SOUND: (HALTING FOOTSTEPS, CONTINUES IN BG … THE GASPING AND HEAVY BREATHING WORSEN)
RAY: It’s over this way. Right along this wall.
OLD WOMAN: (EERIE, MAD CACKLING LAUGHTER … BRIEFLY)
RAY: Who’s that? There’s the hideous cackle of the old woman again!
JEFF: Never mind about that cackle. We’ve only got a few minutes to find a way out of here. When that door closed, it hermetically sealed this room. If we don’t get out, we’ll suffocate. We’re running out of air!
SOUND: (FOOTSTEPS STOP … FEELING AND TAPPING ALONG THE WALL … AND THEN THE FLOOR)
RAY: What should I do?
JEFF: Feel along the floor while I search along the walls here. Feel for any loose boards or any part of the floor that might move.
RAY: Yeah.
JEFF: (AFTER A TENSE PAUSE, COUGHS) Have you found anything yet?
RAY: (WEAKLY) No.
JEFF: Keep working! For heaven’s sake, keep working!
RAY: (WEARILY) I – can’t do any more. I’m through.
JEFF: (PANICS) Keep searching, Ray! Keep searching! There MUST be a secret spring somewhere in here that’ll open this door. Did you find anything yet?
RAY: (NO ANSWER EXCEPT A FINAL WHIMPER)
JEFF: Ray?! Answer me!
SOUND: (RAY COLLAPSES TO THE FLOOR)
JEFF: Ray! (REALIZES) He’s done for. (TO HIMSELF) Don’t let go, man! Keep on! Hang on! We’re not done for yet!
HERMIT: (CACKLING LAUGHTER FADES IN) Jeff and Ray — trapped in a house of mystery in Rhode Island — suffocating in a hermetically sealed room. Where is the old man with the lantern – eh? The Hermit will tell you before the night is done! (CACKLES)
[RADIO TUNING IN]
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[HAMMERING, MUFFLED POUNDING]
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[RADIO TUNING IN]
SOUND: (WIND BLOWS … DOGS HOWL … IN BG)
HERMIT: (CACKLING LAUGHTER) Jeff and Ray are trapped in a hermetically sealed room in a house of mystery. Yes, Ray has lapsed into unconsciousness. But just as Jeff is about to drop off — something happens. Listen. (CACKLES)
SOUND: (WIND AND DOGS FADE)
JEFF: (GASPING)
SOUND: (A LOUD CLICK)
JEFF: Ray?
SOUND: (MOVEABLE WALL SLIDES NOISILY OPENS)
JEFF: Ray, we’ve made it!
SOUND: (WALL STOPS)
JEFF: I found the hidden spring just in time.
RAY: (GROANS)
JEFF: (STRUGGLES) I’ll – get you out of here. (DRAGS RAY’S BODY OUT OF ROOM) Here. Here. You’ll be all right in no time.
SOUND: (THEIR BREATHING SLOWLY IMPROVES DURING DIALOGUE)
RAY: (REGAINS HIS SENSES) Oh. It’s you.
JEFF: Yes. Now, come on … pull yourself together.
RAY: Where are we?
JEFF: I don’t know. But at least we’re out of that death trap.
RAY: How did we do it?
JEFF: Just before I went under, I – I found a hidden spring that works the door.
RAY: What about the old man with the lantern? And the cackling old woman? And the crumbling body of the man?
JEFF: We’re going to see about those things. We’regoing to get to the bottom of this thing. Come on.
RAY: And – and get suffocated all over again?
JEFF: I don’t think we will. Besides, I know where the release for the door is now. Come on. Careful. Take an extra-long step when you enter the room. I think we tripped some kind of trap when we first entered.
RAY: I will.
JEFF: The Old man with a lantern went into this room – and disappeared.
RAY: But where can he have got to? If he stayed in the room, he must have suffocated.
JEFF: He didn’t stay in the room. I’m positive of that.
SOUND: (TWO SHARP TAPS ON WALL)
JEFF: Keep your ears open. Listen for any hollow sounds.
SOUND: (MORE DOUBLE-TAPPING, ENDING ON TWO THAT MAKE A HOLLOW SOUND)
RAY: Oooh. There’s one.
JEFF: Yes, I heard it.
OLD MAN: (MUFFLED, ANGRY) You’ll do as I tell you.
JEFF: Listen.
OLD WOMAN: (MUFFLED, CRYING) I won’t! I won’t!
OLD MAN: (MUFFLED, INDISTINCT)
JEFF: Don’t you hear someone talking?
RAY: No.
JEFF: Put your ear to the wall. Listen.
OLD WOMAN: (MUFFLED) I can’t do any more, I tell you. I can’t!
OLD MAN: (MUFFLED) You’ll do as I tell you or you know—
JEFF: Do you hear it now?
RAY: Yeah. Two people talking.
JEFF: Yes. I knew that old man couldn’t have vanished into thin air. There’s another door hidden here somewhere – and we’re going to find it. Feel for anything moveable around the wainscoting. I’ll work up the sides here.
SOUND: (FEELING ALONG THE WALL … OLD MAN AND WOMAN CONTINUE TO ARGUE INDISTINCTLY IN BG)
RAY: Can you hear what they’re saying?
JEFF: No, they’re too far away to catch any of the words. However, from his tone, I’d say he was threatening her.
SOUND: (A LOUD CLICK)
JEFF: Ah!
RAY: You found it?
SOUND: (MOVEABLE WALL SLIDES NOISILY OPEN)
JEFF: Yes. This little bug on the decoration here.
RAY: Look!. A flight of stairs.
JEFF: Yes, and leading down. Come on.
RAY: Oh, haven’t we had enough for one night, without sticking our noses in any further?
JEFF: We’ve gone this far and had an attempt made on our lives. We’re going to clear up this business before we leave.
RAY: There’s no telling what might be down there.
JEFF: That’s what I’m going to find out. Well? Coming with me or should I go alone?
RAY: Oh, no… I’m coming.
SOUND: (FOOTSTEPS DOWN STAIRS … OLD MAN AND WOMAN’S VOICES GROW LOUDER … WOMAN IS CRYING THROUGHOUT … THE VOICES OF JEFF AND RAY ARE HEARD THROUGH A FILTER UNTIL THEY ENTER THE ROOM WITH THE OLD MAN AND WOMAN)
JEFF: (FILTER) Ah, you can hear them talking a little more clearly now.
OLD MAN: You’ll do as I tell you, do you understand that?
OLD WOMAN: No.
JEFF: (FILTER) Close enough to make out their conversation.
OLD MAN: Now there are two more up there – with Gregory.
OLD WOMAN: Yes.
OLD MAN: (CHUCKLES OMINOUSLY)
JEFF: (FILTER) The Man we saw with the lantern. He’s talking about us, Ray.
RAY: (FILTER) Yeah.
JEFF: (FILTER) He thinks we’re dead upstairs with that body we found.
OLD MAN: If you do not continue to obey me, that’s what will happen to you!
OLD WOMAN: Oh, no. No!
OLD MAN: (CHUCKLES OMINOUSLY) Cringe. Cringe! That’s what I want you to do!
JEFF: (FILTER) Come on, Ray. We’ll see what we can do about this.
OLD MAN: When I’m gone, you think all the money will be yours.
OLD WOMAN: (DEFIANT) I don’t know what you’re talking about!
OLD MAN: Oh, yes, you do. (CHUCKLES OMINOUSLY) Yes, you do!
JEFF: (FILTER) There’s a turn in the passage just ahead. I can see a light shining. Quietly now. We’ll be able to see into the room in a moment or so.
OLD MAN: Tomorrow, you will bring me another young animal to feed upon.
OLD WOMAN: Yes, Brother Garnett.
RAY: (FILTER) It’s her brother that’s talking.
JEFF: (FILTER) Yes. Easy now, while I look around the corner. (PAUSE) What in the world?
RAY: (FILTER) What do you see?
JEFF: (FILTER) Come here.
RAY: (FILTER) It’s… A coffin.
JEFF: (FILTER) Yes, a coffin.
RAY: (FILTER) With a huge lit candle at each corner.
JEFF: (FILTER) And look IN the coffin.
RAY: (FILTER) A man.
JEFF: (FILTER) The one we heard talking.
OLD MAN: When you get back to your cottage each morning, you wonder where you’ve been the night before. Don’t you? Eh? (CHUCKLES OMINOUSLY)
JEFF: (FILTER) There you are, Ray.
RAY: (FILTER) But his lips don’t move.
JEFF: (FILTER) No, but that’s where the voice is coming from.
OLD MAN: You don’t know that I have you under my power. (CHUCKLES OMINOUSLY)
RAY: (FILTER) What will we do?
JEFF: (FILTER) We’ll dash in there and let matters take their course. Are you ready?
RAY: (FILTER) Yeah.
JEFF: (FILTER) Come on, then.
SOUND: (HURRIED FOOTSTEPS … JEFF AND RAY DASH INTO THE ROOM)
OLD MAN: Lydia! The candles! Quick! Out with them!
JEFF: Stop! Stop! Ray! Quickly! That cover over there!
SOUND: (JEFF AND RAY LIFT A HEAVY COFFIN LID AND CARRY IT TO COFFIN)
JEFF: Slam it on the coffin!
SOUND: (LID SLAMMED ON COFFIN)
OLD WOMAN: (SHRIEKS, WHIMPERS, GASPS — AS THE VAMPIRE’S SPELL OVER HER IS BROKEN AND SHE TRANSFORMS)
RAY: The lady. Look at her. Look at the change that’s coming over her.
LYDIA: (RECOVERING, SUDDENLY SOUNDS YOUNGER) Oh! Oh! Oh, where am I? (GASPS, STARTLED) A – a coffin! You two — where am I?
JEFF: (ASTONISHED) You should know better than us.
LYDIA: But I – But I – I don’t.
JEFF: Are you sure?
LYDIA: Oh, yes. Yes! Oh, please believe me– (GASPS, REALIZES) Why, I – I begin to understand now.
JEFF: (SLOWLY) I think I do, too.
LYDIA: (SOBERLY) It’s been this all the time. While I thought it was just a terrible nightmare.
JEFF: Would you like to make yourself clear?
LYDIA: (ANXIOUS) The coffin! Tell me. Who’s in it? Who’s in the coffin?
JEFF: You mean to say that you don’t know?
LYDIA: Oh, no, I swear I don’t.
JEFF: Well, you called him “brother” just a few moments ago.
LYDIA: (GASPS) Brother?
JEFF: Your own brother Garnett is in that coffin.
LYDIA: Nooo. No. How can that be? We buried my brother Garnett over eight years ago.
JEFF: I see…
LYDIA: Yes.
JEFF: And you are–?
LYDIA: I’m Lydia Crampton.
JEFF: Miss Crampton, I would advise you to start at the beginning so that we might unravel this maze.
LYDIA: Oh, I– I’ll try. But– Oh, but not here, please.
JEFF: Yes, here. If my deductions are correct, it would be better for everyone concerned to get the truth — right here and now.
LYDIA: All right. There’s very little I can tell you that I know definitely. Brother Garnett died about eight years ago. I – I hate to say it – but he was horrible. He was a devil. As soon as father died and he came into the money, he started making my life miserable.
JEFF: Why?
LYDIA: I never could find out why. Then Garnett died and was buried. And with him was buried the secret of father’s will. I know that the estate was supposed to pass on to me after Garnett’s death but I can’t find any sign of the will.
JEFF: Well, what have you done?
LYDIA: I have a small income from my mother. I’ve been living in a little cottage not far from here. And now comes the part that’s like a terrible dream. But I’m beginning to see it now. (SLOWLY) I’m positive that I’m right when I say that Garnett somehow was able to exercise his will upon me, after death.
JEFF: What makes you say that?
LYDIA: What I’ve been thinking were horrible nightmares, I now see were actual occurrences. He made me come here every night to wait upon him. He told me that Gregory, his butler, had placed him here in this coffin – and had buried a dummy in his place. Then he killed Gregory.
JEFF: The body in the room upstairs?
LYDIA: Yes. (DARKLY) When he had me under his spell, I used to pass through that room and laugh at the remains of Gregory — call him lazy for always sleeping on the floor. To think that I would do a thing like that.
JEFF: Go ahead, Miss Crampton.
LYDIA: He made me bring him a young animal every day or two.
JEFF: What was that for?
LYDIA: He – fed upon them.
JEFF: Ah, I thought so. He feeds upon the blood of animals?
LYDIA: Yes. He sucked the blood from them. And, when he had fed, he had the strength to get out of his coffin for a while.
RAY: (UNNERVED, TO JEFF) This is horrible! Stop her!
JEFF: No, quiet, Ray. (TO HIMSELF) Then that’s how we saw him in the hall upstairs. (TO LYDIA) Go ahead, Miss Crampton.
LYDIA: That is about all. He used to taunt me by the hour, telling me I’d never come into my inheritance.
JEFF: I see. When we slammed the lid on the coffin, we broke his spell over you.
LYDIA: (REALIZES THIS IS TRUE) Yes! You MUST have.
JEFF: Tell me, Miss Crampton, where, in this room, are we in connection with the rest of the house?
LYDIA: I – don’t know. It must be on the ground floor, I suppose.
JEFF: That’s what I was thinking.
SOUND: (TAPPING ON WALL)
JEFF: I have an idea.
RAY: What is it?
SOUND: (MORE TAPPING ON WALL, ENDING WITH HOLLOW TAPS)
JEFF: Ah. Hear that?
RAY: Another hollow spot.
JEFF: Exactly. Now, watch this point right here.
RAY: Okay
JEFF: We’ll press it and—
SOUND: (CLICK)
JEFF: Mm.
SOUND: (MOVEABLE WALL SLIDES NOISILY OPEN)
RAY: It’s opening!
LYDIA: Why – why, it’s the bookcase in the front room.
JEFF: Look at this in the back of the bookcase — a small secret compartment.
OLD MAN: (MUFFLED, FROM UNDER COFFIN LID, INDISTINCT MUMBLING … THEN, OMINOUSLY) Keep away from the bookcase!
LYDIA: (GASPS)
RAY: The dead body is talking! Talking even with the coffin lid on.
JEFF: All right, Ray. We’re ready to put a stop to his talking. Here, Miss Crampton — a package from the compartment in the back of the bookcase. I think you’ll find it’s your father’s will.
LYDIA: Father’s will?
JEFF: Yes. Now, Ray, break up that old wooden pallet in the corner.
RAY: I’m on it!
SOUND: BREAKING WOOD
JEFF: Hand me one of the splintered boards. Take the candles out of that candelabra and hand them to Miss Crampton. I’m going to use the candelabra as a hammer.
RAY: But what are we going to do?
JEFF: We’re going to put an end to Garnett Crampton.
RAY: But how? What are we going to do with the broken piece of wood?
JEFF: I’ll show you. I’ll use the splintered end as a spear. You use the candelabra as a hammer. We’ll drive this one through the heart of that monster in the coffin.
LYDIA: No, no!
RAY: But that would be murder!
JEFF: It won’t! He only lives during the night. Go on, strike!
SOUND: (RAY STARTS HAMMERING ON THE CANDLESTICK, GRUNTING A LITTLE WITH EVERY BLOW … CONTINUES IN BG)
OLD MAN: (MUFFLED) Stop it! Stop it, I say! (CONTINUES YELLING INDECIPHERABLY IN BG)
JEFF: We’ll release his soul so that it’ll never trouble anyone on Earth again.
OLD MAN: (MUFFLED) Please–! (CONTINUES IN BG)
JEFF: Faster, Ray!
RAY: I’m going as fast as I can!
JEFF: When Miss Crampton told me of its feeding on young animals—
RAY: Sucking the blood?
JEFF: Yes. I knew then that we had a vampire to deal with.
LYDIA: Oh, what are you doing? For heaven’s sakes, what are you doing?
JEFF: We’re ridding the face of the Earth of a vampire.
SOUND: (ONE LAST HAMMER BLOW)
OLD MAN: (BLOODCURDLING SCREAM)
LYDIA: (SHRIEKS)
JEFF: (AFTER A BRIEF PAUSE, SIGHS) It’s done. We’ve driven the point of this old board through the coffin and through the heart of Garnett Crampton — who’s long been dead but whose soul has been held in bondage by the result of his evil practices in life.
SOUND: (WIND BLOWS … DOGS HOWL … IN BG)
[OUTTRO]
JEFF: Happy Halloween to everyone in our legendary community. We thought it would be fun for our Halloween special to break our usual format.
RAY: We adapted and updated this script from an old-time radio show called The Hermit’s Cave that aired between 1936 and 1947.
JEFF: We’d like to wish a Happy Halloween to our patreon patrons! These folks kick in just $3 bucks per month and get early access to new episodes plus bonus episodes and content that no one else gets to hear. If you can help us out, just head over to patreon.com/NewEnglandLegends to sign up.
RAY: If you don’t already subscribe to our podcast, please do, because it’s free! You can get it wherever you get your podcasts. Each week we’ll bring you strange stories of ghosts, monsters, aliens, odd history, and the just plain weird. Also, please consider telling a friend or two about our show.
JEFF: You should also check out our super secret New England Legends Facebook group – almost 6,000 people in there now sharing stories of strangeness. And be sure to download our free New England Legends app for your smart phone. There’s a map in there that links you to the location of every story we’ve covered.
RAY: We’d like to thank our sponsor Nuwati Herbals, we’d like to thank Jade Ansell, Michael Legge, and Tim Ellis for lending their voice acting talents this week. In fact, doing this story was Michael’s idea, so thank you for that. And our theme music is by John Judd.
HERMIT: Until next time remember… the bizarre is closer than you think.

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